I really do have an absurd number of plaid flannel shirts, bottles of maple syrup, and polar bears.

Hello. Somebody is sitting next to me, attempting to shove food down my throat. It isn't her fault; she's Jewish. But she should stop. Just saying. 

A lot of people have been shoving food down my throat lately. 

Honest Gabi: No, just you. 

Girly Gabi: Seriously, you ate a fifth of a cheesecake. Like, do you know how many calories are in that?

Poetic Gabi: It went down my throat so quickly. Its life was fleeting, but beautiful.

ADD Gabi: I really like cheesecake. And carrots. I ate an entire bag of mini carrots last week. 

Coach Gabi: INCREASING YOUR VITAMIN A INTAKE, ARE YOU?! THEN WHY ARE YOU ATROCIOUS AT WRESTLING?

Scholarly Gabi: Those aren't correlated. Vitamin A is responsible for vision. And, as it was the first wrestling practise --

Random Bystander: You wrestle? That's funny because I see you as clumsy, socially awkward, and a pushover. 

Yeah, I joined the wrestling team. Since my family burst into laughter upon hearing this, I've decided to compile a list of reasons why I'm manly. In a feminine, sexually viable way. 

a) According to the Jew sitting beside me force-feeding me noodles, I have manly thumbs. But they're handsome.

b) I could probably use my hair as a weapon.

c) I'm wearing a flannel plaid shirt. I'm totally a lumberjack. 

d) I'm a Gryffindor. 

Scholarly Gabi: No, you are not. Pottermore clearly made an analytical error, and you're clearly in Ravenclaw.

Overachiever Gabi: HOW CAN YOU BE A RAVENCLAW IF YOU GOT 35% ON A SCIENCE QUIZ TODAY!?

ADD Gabi: I'm on the same dose of meds I've been on since grade 4. I may need a higher dose. And I was thinking about the blog's anniversary and what we could write about. 

Overachiever Gabi: Gabi, get your prescription changed please.

Nice Gabi: See, that was a pretty nice suggestion! We may even belong in Hufflepuff!

Honest Gabi: You're a Ravenpuff. You also have really unhealthy sleeping habits and you are self-absorbed.

ADD Gabi: I just ate an ice cream bar in, like, 45 seconds! It was so cool! We can write about that on the blog's anniversary post!


Girly Gabi: That's stupid! Everyone's going to think you're fat and, like, hate you. We should write about my new wardrobe!


Teenage Gabi: Can we write about how much more mature I am than a year ago, but how I'm also jaded and world-weary? 


Poetic Gabi: We could use my seven plaid shirts as a metaphor!


Honest Gabi: See, you're so self absorbed! In the middle of a list about yourself, you felt compelled to add an entire conversation between the different aspects of your personality, and argue about the blog's anniversary post. 


ADD Gabi: Today's the blog's anniversary? OH YEAH, I KNEW THAT!


Overachiever Gabi: Nobody's going to finish the list, are they? Nobody does any work around here. Ugh.


**********************************


Yeah, I've had this blog for a year. That's weird.


I didn't really want to do one of those I've Had My Blog For a Year and That's Awesome posts, because they're awesome, but I don't have enough posts that I'm proud of. So this year's goal is to make more good quality posts, I suppose. I kind of already defeated my purpose in this post, because it sucks. Yay.


-Gabi